OUTBREAK WARNING! / September 9th, 2010

O-Scopers consider yourselves warned,

Yes it’s true, A bad case of “Franco Fever” has infiltrated the Laboratory. HOWL is in theaters, on cable VOD Sep 24th, and soon to be out on DVD.

And now, just when we thought we were nearly in the clear, we picked up Mr. Franco’s directorial debut “SATURDAY NIGHT” for release in early 2011. It’s obviously a Franco plague, and we are declaring a “condition lavender” in and around the office. All employees have been asked to wear a Peter Sarsgaard Sars-Guard to work and we are supplying Jon Hamm’s JohnHam in all of the bathrooms. We are on full lockdown-quarantine as of now.

So we suggest that all of you at home get vaccinated by your local doctor before it spreads. This sort of outbreak can be highly dangerous, particularly to downtown Williamsburg type hipsters like Dan from our office who was so amped up that Yauch had to personally put him down with a dart to the neck.

Later when questioned by police Yauch said, “SNL may be my mother fuckin’ shit, and James may be my mother fuckin’ man. But Dan needs to cool it or I will dart him again. I don’t give a fuck. I’ll fuckin’ put a dart in James’s neck too. All these motherfuckers can get a dart from me. Sure, James gets unprecedented access to follow the making of an episode of ‘Saturday Night Live’ (w/ John Malkovich hosting!), from Tuesday morning’s pitch meeting to Sunday morning’s closing credits. But whatever, i’ll even put a dart Malkovich’s scrawny neck…” Yauch went on with this tirade for more than half an hour, but we’ll stop here as you probably get the gist. Clearly no one’s neck is safe anymore.

This piece of information was brought to you by your favorite Minister of Information,
Bruce Farnsworth


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